You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
