apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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