i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
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Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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