i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
