oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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