You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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