Fuck appropriateness.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
