Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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