none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
