Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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