So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
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The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
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WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize