So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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