I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
