then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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