I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
