i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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