I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
