Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
