Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
