just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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