goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
