therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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