the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
