You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
