How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
