You're earring is so big in my mouth
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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