Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
