if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
