Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Screwed.edu
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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