I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
