So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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