You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
