As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
