Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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