Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
