Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
