help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize