Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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