I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize