I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
