so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
