He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
