Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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