It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
