Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
