I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
did you just send me my own nude
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
