oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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