sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
