sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
