A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
