What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
