idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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