im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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