I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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