I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
