If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
