As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
