her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
