Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
