you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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