Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
