i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
