Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
