i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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