I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
