im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
