tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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