It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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